The truth is out there

Aardvark has been contemplating ineffable mysteries and conspiracy theories.

Take the alleged picture of Area 51 above. How do we know it's Area 51? How do we know it's not a gas pipeline construction site just north of Atamyrat? Well of course, if I still had a camel, I could take a quick foray out into the deserts of Turkmenistan and clear this up.

But since Betsy did a runner, I can't and so we may never know for sure.

My investigations in this area started with the mysteries of Sapamurat Niyazov otherwise known as the Turkmenbashi.

Why does his age and hair look so different in different pictures? (See earlier blog on cloning etc). What's it with him and the CIA anyway? Do they know something we don't? (Probably they do and most likely it's wrong anyway. If ever a team needs to raise their game, it's the boys and girls from Langley High!)

How can you build an ice palace in the desert? What alien technology would be needed to keep it from melting? Who wants to sleep on a bed of ice? Only Eskimos and aliens from an ice planet if you ask me?

Who are these aliens anyway and why do they want to live here in Turkmenistan - don't we have enough problems already with the Australians and Norwegians? Is it our night life and creative drinks culture that attracts them?

What is the Ruhnama all about? Was it translated from some alien tongue? Is that why it doesn't have a lot to say about cocktails? What's it got to do with driving tests anyway? Shouldn't these focus on parallel parking and stop signs? Is this too difficult for our alien visitors who need a valid license to be able to rent a Hummer from Avis or Hertz?

Why is the Turkmen "complexion the color of wheat" preferred? What the problem with white or green? Is it easy to cover up green with make up so it looks wheat covered? I sense a cover up and piece of government mis-direction.

What's wrong with gold teeth? Are the aliens among us alergic to gold? Is this a ploy to allow aliens to take advantage of our world leading dentistry without giving the game away?

Anyway, Aardvark no longer takes any of this for granted. Here's a picture of his bedroom:

This is where your trusty blogmeister works on investigating alien mysteries and testing new cocktail mixes.

Watch this space for updates on both counts. To start with here is the latest cocktail breakthrough:

Sapamurat's Skull Crusher

Green Chatreuse

Tequila

Green Creme de Menthe

Kummel

A dash of Lime

Serve chilled. Optionally serve over crushed ice to achieve brain freeze and minimize the shock later.

A very vertibrate friendly mix if I say so myself. Certainly, it went down well with my tasting panel. And the green color of the drink blended nicely with their happy wheat colored faces.

Let's keep aliens off the official Turkmenistan map!